![]() “I’m going to beat this”, he would tell his daughters time and time again.Īs things progressively got worse, he dug in deeper because he vowed “not to quit.” He had developed type 2 diabetes in his late sixties diabetic kidney disease in his early seventies he had been on dialysis for years, and soon the heart problems came along. Was your dad able to communicate with you guys until the end?ĭid this all happen quickly, or was it a slow, downhill process?Īs we talked, they painted a picture of a man who was a fighter. Have you guys been able to sleep the last couple days? It’s the little details I’m interested in, like: It allows me to get to know him a little more, and understand where the family is at both practically and psychologically. I met with his two daughters at 11 AM the same morning.Īs is my custom, I like to ask questions about the deceased’s final days. He would have been wheelchair bound and mostly dependent upon the help of others to do his daily tasks: eating, bathing, cleaning, brushing his teeth, combing his hair. ![]() Had he lived any longer, I’m sure his hands and feet would have been removed. But there was no pragmatic reason to see what was hidden underneath those dressings, so I let them be. Part of me wanted to unwrap his feet, just to see what damage had been done to his toes. You’ve seen the pictures of the bog bodies? That. And only two fingers remained on a hand that bore no resemblance to human flesh. I took the bandages off the right hand, mainly looking to make sure there weren’t any rings on that hand, but I was also curious to see if that hand was necrotic as well. It looked like it had fallen off or broken off. And it didn’t look like it had been cut off. His pinky finger was no longer attached to his hand. I had seen diabetic tissue necrosis, but it’s usually amputated before it gets this bad. What I found surprised me: his fingers were totally necrotic. I then unwrapped his hands to check for rings. ![]() ![]() So, when I got back to the funeral home, I felt his chest area for a pacemaker and found nothing (if he had a pacemaker, I would have had to remove BECAUSE THEY EXPLODE WHEN CREMATED!). I noticed immediately that his hands and feet were wrapped tightly in bandages, which usually means that the deceased has fragile skin that easily rips, or he or she was a diabetic with circulation problems that plague the extremities, especially near the end of life. A patriotic honor blanket - used by the VA hospice for all deaths - was draped over his abdomen and legs. He was in a fresh gown that the nurses had put on him after they cleaned him up for the final time. There was a rolled hand towel underneath his chin to keep his mouth closed. I put on my dress clothes, drove to the funeral home, and scooted out of the funeral home parking lot at around 4:30 AM to the Veteran’s Administration Hospice Center.Ī half-hour later I rolled into the VA parking lot, pulled into the ambulance entrance, and hit the buzzer by the door to alert the nursing staff I had arrived. The death call came early in the morning. Author: Beverly & Pack Author URL: Year: 2009 Source URL: License: Creative Commons Attribution License
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